I’m starting this blog because once again, I can’t fall asleep. When I can’t fall asleep, like most people, my mind wanders. My mind began to wander into the past, like most minds do when people can’t sleep, and some of my past mistakes and regrets reformed. I decided, maybe the best way to get these thoughts out of my head is to write about them. A friend of mine started a blog recently, so I figured, maybe this would be better than writing my thoughts in a journal where no one will see them. This way, I feel like I’m at least telling someone about my past rather than just repeating it to myself, who already knows everything about what has happened.
So, what is it that I will be writing about? Let me tell you:
In this blog, I will be writing in detail about some of the issues I have had in the past, mostly revolving around an unhealthy relationship that I found myself in. From this relationship came depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-hate, drugs (some illicit, some legal), and regret. It probably won’t be a particularly interesting story for most people, but, lucky for me, I’m not writing this story for most people. In fact, I don’t intend to tell most people I am doing this.
I won’t be using any real names in this story, aside from my own. Any friends that I mention will have different names in case I mention something about them that they would dislike. I don’t need anyone getting in trouble with their parents about something they did when they were dumb teenagers, like I was (not that any of their parents will be reading this). My ex boyfriend will have a different name because, though I don’t like to admit it, I don’t like saying his name in reference to himself. It’s a very common name that I have no problem addressing other people with, but with him, it just is more difficult. Instead, I will be using the name “Sam.” Why Sam? Sam is the name of my parents’ cat, and he (like many cats) is an ass. So, Sam.
Without further ado, let’s start at the beginning.